Mis siin nii erilist on, meil oma foorumist ühest subaru teemast leiab ka umbes samasuguse asja kus nelivedu testitakse

...........

See kõlab juba nagu need lennukimehhaanikute vastused

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

The Men's rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are OUR rules:
Please note… these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

* Subtle hints do not work!
* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!
* JUST SAY IT!

1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:

* Sex,
* Sport,
* Cars,
* or Computers

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping

Haige huumor, ehk et kuidas omale uusi amorte välja pressida"

http://majandus.delfi.ee/news/tarbija/m ... d=31248395

Mis seal huumor on? Ja rehvivahetus firma ka minu silmis süüdi. Ise ma selles süüdi ei ole ju.

Anna andeks, ma ei osanud unes ka ette kujutada, et sina enne rehvivahetust auto all käid amorte kontrollimas Lihtne on ikka neid süüdistada, poleks vaja ju olnud autot üles tõsta

mis järgmiseks, piduritorude vahetus kui remondimehel purunevad need kui autot garaazi sisse aetakse? Ja kuhu kohta pimeda amortisaatoril keerata saab?

Jep. Viimati kui ma käisin rehve vahetamas siis ka kui auto oli tõstukipeal vaatasin, et piduriklotsid on viimase piirini kulunud, üks rooliots oli läbi, sumpsile hakkas kohe auk sisse roostetama ning käigukasti õli tundus vähe olevat. Kuna vead ilmnesid rehvivahetuses siis pressin ka neilt nüüd selle raha välja.

Tõenäoliselt olid kodanikul all veel talvekad, mis tähendab, et tõenäoliselt oli ta auto tõstuki peal viimati sügisel. Selle ajaga on amordid tuksi lännud ja nüüd uuesti tõstukiga üles tõstes venitati amordid lahti, ehk töö asendist välja ja hakkasidki lekkima. Auto on lihtsalt kulunud. Oleks võinud artiklis ära mainida mis mersuga tegu. Kahtlen, et tegu mõne uue masinaga.

http://acidcow.com/video/10045-hammer_vs_a_car_glass.html

Haamer vs klaas

http://www.postimees.ee/?id=267850


Pangaröövi fail!